Today's Word: Frankenpattern

Here's the current picture of Isabella. Notice anything? Probably not. The reason for that is that the shawl/scarf is all scrunched up. Yeah. Why, you ask? Take another look at the picture. See the purple lines? The purple lines that are barely showing. Yeah, those. That is all the cable space I have left. In other words, my cable is too darn short. So I have to wait until the new 60" cable arrives from the supplier. The shipper says it's expected on Monday. Monday! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Not that I'm impatient, or anything.

News from the Glove War front: my second target, Mother of Purl, has finally conceded her wooly death. However, she mistakenly attributed it to her previous assassin, Jojo. So I have no idea where the Weapons In Progress (aka already started gloves) may be. Our glorious leader is sorting it out. Happily, I was able to pass on all the tracking info and that should do the trick.

Also, my current assassin, Knits of Horror, is threatening to finish and mail my death. I directed her to the Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka site and insinuated that she relax and enjoy. Knitting can wait. And mailing can definitely wait. (No, I haven't tried Firefly, but don't tell her that.)

Battlestar Galactica Fleet Power Battle: My Hard Six proposal was accepted, after more grousing and reluctant compromise from the poor, put-upon Cylon, Dani. It's fun to role-play that character. The best part is coming up with the specific maintenance she has to perform for most of her life. For example:

You think Cavil’s gonna slip on an evac suit and polish those goofball jewel boxes? Whose fracked-up idea was it to put the spare bodies in transparent containers anyway? I mean, really? You think those things stay pristine? In space? Like there’s nothing out there? Really?

And after all that rant about pink, it turns out that my yarn's not so much pink as greyish pink. You can see actual pink stitch markers at the top for comparison. Guess I really am a Cylon. (Team colors are red, grey, and black--hey, maybe I'll get bonus points for color!)

And another thing: I started the project and had to stop and knit for guage. For the non-knitters, knitting for guage is something knitters do to torture themselves and waste time. They say it makes sweaters fit better, but that remains to be seen. To knit a guage swatch, a proper knitter will use the yarn for the project and at least three needle sizes. They will then knit a 6" square with each set of needles. After they bind this useless thing off, they will wash and block it. (I know, right.) Then and only then, they will get out a ruler and count how many stitches per inch they have knitted, both horizontally and vertically. If this is the same as the guage in the pattern they are said to "get guage." (as if)

Notwithswatching, I started the Silk Berry Jewelry Bag with size 4 needles and even I had to admit the guage was way off. So I made a small swatch with size 3--still too big--size 2--still too big--size 0--you gotta be kiddin' me, still too big? Well, those little zeros seemed like they were gonna break with such a heavy yarn, so I said forget it and compromised with the twos. But
herein lies another problem.

I have three sets of twos: an old unwieldy metal and plastic circular (ack!), a nice modern circular (but the cable kept flipping around), and 6" double-pointed needles (dpns). You know what double-pointed means? No knots. Pointy, and therefore slippery on both sides. Guess what tends to happen when you're knitting something about 6" wide on 6" dpns? Yeah, it falls off. So here's my goofball solution.Pretty, huh? It's gum eraser. No, not chewing gum. I made a couple little balls of this stuff and stuck one end of each needle in. Improvisation!

And one more thing: I seriously had to frankenpattern this one.

Frankenpattern: (verb) to cobble together a pattern with another pattern or
the errata found online for it, using notes, tape, scissors, staples, paper clips, copiers and all manner of office supplies; may also be used as a noun with my compliments

If You Know Battlestar Galactica...

I've joined a new online knitting game: Battlestar Galactica Fleet Power Battle. There are 6 different "missions" we can go on and score points for our side. Here is my understanding of the missions:

1. Baltar's girls: make something girly or soft but masculine


2. Head count: baby things & kid stuff
   
3. Ellen & Saul Tigh: selfish or based on Saul--quickies okay


4. 33 Minutes: Has to use at least 238 yards and a lifeline


5. Scar: Finish a project that's already started


6. Roll the Hard Six: Do something that's hard for you and fits the theme. Be creative, projects must be approved.

What happens to these projects? Anything I want. I don't have to mail anything!

I am planning to make a baby sweater so #2 is all set. And I finished my Cherrytini Jubilee socks just today for #5. Honestly, I think I may have just set it aside without that encouragement.

And what side am I on? Turns out I'm a Cylon. Go figure. Here's my project proposal for "Roll the Hard Six." Below is a picture of the project I want to make and my yarn.

Give, give, give. That’s all I ever do. People seem to think that new models
just appear in the tub by some kind of Cylon magic. I wish. And who has to clean
out the goo baths when a new Six finally gets out of the darn thing? Me, that’s
who. And do those red lights fall so beautifully without any effort? No way!
That’s my job too. It’s not like the hybrid is going to pop out with a squirt
bottle of vinegar and a squeegee. And who do think keeps the models looking like
models? White dresses don’t just stay white, my dear.
But someday, somewhere I’m going to get a break. I’ve been promised a new world: a world where I get to be in charge of my own life.
I am so looking forward to this new Earth and giving it my personal signature. There will be trees and strange new plants and people, people that I can enslave and use to my own ends: making me pretty things, like jewelry, pampering me, and telling me how perfect I am. And men, men that I will happily torture with the color pink. Not that I’m evil. I just want to be spoiled in the manner to which I’d like to become accustomed.
To keep me sane while I wait for this idyllic existence to start, I want to take
off the rubber gloves and knit. I will create a pink tree to enclose the pretties I expect to receive. Now, I’m not lazy. I want my skills to grow and improve. To challenge myself, I will try something I’ve never done: being nice. Just kidding. I wouldn’t bother with that. I’ll try making bobbles, raised texture.
And someday, that pink tree won’t be made of yarn. It’ll be real.
And produce pink fruit. From which we will make pink yarn. And I will knit
another pink tree.
But only if there’s consensus. Please agree. You really don’t want a crazy cylon managing the goo supply. Really.

Dani, the Cylon nobody talks about