The Color Your Mother Warned You About

The color red is dangerous. We all know this. That's why they make stoplights red: "Whoa! Hold on, there, pardner!" And stop signs: "This is a dangerous place; pay attention." And a gal in a red dress--we know she's out to get our man. (Not me, though. When I'm wearing red, it just means I'm a very nice person who happens to be wearing red today and that has no bearing on the fact that I wore a short red dress when I was playing a hot chica in a murder mystery. None whatsoever.) But the point I was trying to make before I ran off to tangent-ville is that red is trouble. And the trouble with fiber is, it bleeds. I know other colors bleed, too, but red is too often the culprit. So we wash our red fabrics before we put 'em into a quilt. We stabilize the color in embroidery floss as best we can. We even avoid it in our dishes because there's some kind of radioactive chemical in it that will turn us all into intelligent cockroaches or something, according to the Man of the Place. (Hmmm, maybe I wasn't really paying attention. Ya think?)

So I was a understandably concerned about this red cotton stria. I decided to knit up the sweater first and face that problem later, but before I attached the WHITE flower. So, here's what I did: I put it in a bath of cool water and Orvus Quilt Soap. Soaked it for a few minutes and, get this: the water didn't even turn light pink! Shock the monkey, was I surprised!

Then I attached the flower, the bobble buttons, and the stem for a big hooray!And here's the payoff:No,wait Sweetie, hold still for the camera:Good enough! That's about as still as a healthy sixteen-month old can get. She's so worth the knitting.

Proto-Dinner

Every week the Man of the Place gets up early and heads out to the organic farmer's market and picks up fresh produce. I'm not so much into cooking these days, so I love it when I don't have to do much to make it a yummy dish. For example, these green beans just needed to be trimmed and boiled for five minutes. The guacamole just needed to be mooshed up and left alone--my specialty! (not guacamole, leaving the food alone) And the tamales were frozen: all I had to do was put 'em on the steam flower with boiling water and leave 'em alone (see above about my specialty.)
This means I had more time to work on my little Pretty Cylon Baby sweater. Read that as more time to ignore the problem. See how it looked at 1:30 today? Notice anything strange? How 'bout now? Yeah. The sleeves are two different lengths. (sigh) Now I have to find someone with a hump to give it to.
Or I could, you know, fix it.

Snagafrabadeekalabafooey. (This is the sound of me grumbling, in case you were going for the urban dictionary.)

Under the Weather

You know how they teach you in geology that there is magma deep under the earth's crust? That's about as far under the weather I am. Deep. The Man of the Place said I'd be feeling better today, but I sure showed him! Ha! I win. (But the prize really stinks.)
Today, Tiny had soccer practice near where we meet for knit group so I figured I'd join 'em--from another table to avoid infecting anyone--while I waited for her. It was so nice being around the girls, even when under the weather. I worked on this little red sweater: it's mostly stockinette so I prefer to knit this when I'm otherwise distracted. TV, conversation, reading... it's all good for this project. It's a Christmas giftie so I should get it done ASAP.
However, I have to have a little fun. I've been just speeding along on a project with no deadline. Another pair of what? Socks. Of course. You know I've got to make socks. It's turned into a compulsion. This one takes some attention, but I'm okay with that. These are called Dippers. The author says that the pattern looks like honey dippers. Really? If you say so.

Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

Look at all these little parts. What could these bits and bobs be when assembled? Here's a hint:The answer will be revealed at the bottom of this post.
I've gotten more work done on Chocolate Kisses Socks. They're close to brainless, which makes them a perfect TV watching project. Speaking of TV, I just got the news that Dollhouse has been cancelled. It's one of my current faves and I'll be sad to see it go.

And more brainless knitting (until I get to the hard parts): I'm calling this Pretty Cylon Baby because I started it for the Battlestar Galactica Fleet Power Battle on Ravelry. It's for an adorable baby, but aren't they all?! Are you ready? Do you have your guess?

And the answer is: a hippity hoppity bunny rattle! It's from the same book as the above sweater, Itty-Bitty Nursery, but understandably much faster.
Did you guess it? If you did, you may be smarter than a fifth grader. And probably me.

If You Know Battlestar Galactica...

I've joined a new online knitting game: Battlestar Galactica Fleet Power Battle. There are 6 different "missions" we can go on and score points for our side. Here is my understanding of the missions:

1. Baltar's girls: make something girly or soft but masculine


2. Head count: baby things & kid stuff
   
3. Ellen & Saul Tigh: selfish or based on Saul--quickies okay


4. 33 Minutes: Has to use at least 238 yards and a lifeline


5. Scar: Finish a project that's already started


6. Roll the Hard Six: Do something that's hard for you and fits the theme. Be creative, projects must be approved.

What happens to these projects? Anything I want. I don't have to mail anything!

I am planning to make a baby sweater so #2 is all set. And I finished my Cherrytini Jubilee socks just today for #5. Honestly, I think I may have just set it aside without that encouragement.

And what side am I on? Turns out I'm a Cylon. Go figure. Here's my project proposal for "Roll the Hard Six." Below is a picture of the project I want to make and my yarn.

Give, give, give. That’s all I ever do. People seem to think that new models
just appear in the tub by some kind of Cylon magic. I wish. And who has to clean
out the goo baths when a new Six finally gets out of the darn thing? Me, that’s
who. And do those red lights fall so beautifully without any effort? No way!
That’s my job too. It’s not like the hybrid is going to pop out with a squirt
bottle of vinegar and a squeegee. And who do think keeps the models looking like
models? White dresses don’t just stay white, my dear.
But someday, somewhere I’m going to get a break. I’ve been promised a new world: a world where I get to be in charge of my own life.
I am so looking forward to this new Earth and giving it my personal signature. There will be trees and strange new plants and people, people that I can enslave and use to my own ends: making me pretty things, like jewelry, pampering me, and telling me how perfect I am. And men, men that I will happily torture with the color pink. Not that I’m evil. I just want to be spoiled in the manner to which I’d like to become accustomed.
To keep me sane while I wait for this idyllic existence to start, I want to take
off the rubber gloves and knit. I will create a pink tree to enclose the pretties I expect to receive. Now, I’m not lazy. I want my skills to grow and improve. To challenge myself, I will try something I’ve never done: being nice. Just kidding. I wouldn’t bother with that. I’ll try making bobbles, raised texture.
And someday, that pink tree won’t be made of yarn. It’ll be real.
And produce pink fruit. From which we will make pink yarn. And I will knit
another pink tree.
But only if there’s consensus. Please agree. You really don’t want a crazy cylon managing the goo supply. Really.

Dani, the Cylon nobody talks about