Dead but Not Completely Lame

News from the Glove War front: our correspondent has gotten too close to the action and taken a direct hit. Not only was there wool, there was chocolate. She died with a smile on her face, in fourth place. Not only were the gloves knitted in black (the hardest color to knit with), they were knit in her favorite lacey pattern.

Turns out I have longer size 2 needles with knots. I no longer have to use too short needles with gum eraser on the ends. Hmm, that stopped sounding innovative and started sounding pathetic. My nighttime brain kicked in (it's smarter than the one I use during the day) and reminded me of an "accidental purchase." I didn't expect to be using these so I stored them a little out of the way. Hurrah for accidents!

More good news: Isabella di Roma, my little Ishbel shawl, is done. I had to start the bind-off three different times. Why? Because I was too tight? No. Because I was completely out of yarn. I found a tutorial to teach you how to bind off in that situation. It looks a little crochet-ey, but don't be scared. It really works. Pay special attention to the instruction that says to knit the last row loosely: I went up three needle sizes! Here is a picture of it while it blocks. I used blocking wires: these stiff wires that you stick into the edges and push out with pins. Worked great. I even wore it today!

Today's Word: Frankenpattern

Here's the current picture of Isabella. Notice anything? Probably not. The reason for that is that the shawl/scarf is all scrunched up. Yeah. Why, you ask? Take another look at the picture. See the purple lines? The purple lines that are barely showing. Yeah, those. That is all the cable space I have left. In other words, my cable is too darn short. So I have to wait until the new 60" cable arrives from the supplier. The shipper says it's expected on Monday. Monday! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Not that I'm impatient, or anything.

News from the Glove War front: my second target, Mother of Purl, has finally conceded her wooly death. However, she mistakenly attributed it to her previous assassin, Jojo. So I have no idea where the Weapons In Progress (aka already started gloves) may be. Our glorious leader is sorting it out. Happily, I was able to pass on all the tracking info and that should do the trick.

Also, my current assassin, Knits of Horror, is threatening to finish and mail my death. I directed her to the Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka site and insinuated that she relax and enjoy. Knitting can wait. And mailing can definitely wait. (No, I haven't tried Firefly, but don't tell her that.)

Battlestar Galactica Fleet Power Battle: My Hard Six proposal was accepted, after more grousing and reluctant compromise from the poor, put-upon Cylon, Dani. It's fun to role-play that character. The best part is coming up with the specific maintenance she has to perform for most of her life. For example:

You think Cavil’s gonna slip on an evac suit and polish those goofball jewel boxes? Whose fracked-up idea was it to put the spare bodies in transparent containers anyway? I mean, really? You think those things stay pristine? In space? Like there’s nothing out there? Really?

And after all that rant about pink, it turns out that my yarn's not so much pink as greyish pink. You can see actual pink stitch markers at the top for comparison. Guess I really am a Cylon. (Team colors are red, grey, and black--hey, maybe I'll get bonus points for color!)

And another thing: I started the project and had to stop and knit for guage. For the non-knitters, knitting for guage is something knitters do to torture themselves and waste time. They say it makes sweaters fit better, but that remains to be seen. To knit a guage swatch, a proper knitter will use the yarn for the project and at least three needle sizes. They will then knit a 6" square with each set of needles. After they bind this useless thing off, they will wash and block it. (I know, right.) Then and only then, they will get out a ruler and count how many stitches per inch they have knitted, both horizontally and vertically. If this is the same as the guage in the pattern they are said to "get guage." (as if)

Notwithswatching, I started the Silk Berry Jewelry Bag with size 4 needles and even I had to admit the guage was way off. So I made a small swatch with size 3--still too big--size 2--still too big--size 0--you gotta be kiddin' me, still too big? Well, those little zeros seemed like they were gonna break with such a heavy yarn, so I said forget it and compromised with the twos. But
herein lies another problem.

I have three sets of twos: an old unwieldy metal and plastic circular (ack!), a nice modern circular (but the cable kept flipping around), and 6" double-pointed needles (dpns). You know what double-pointed means? No knots. Pointy, and therefore slippery on both sides. Guess what tends to happen when you're knitting something about 6" wide on 6" dpns? Yeah, it falls off. So here's my goofball solution.Pretty, huh? It's gum eraser. No, not chewing gum. I made a couple little balls of this stuff and stuck one end of each needle in. Improvisation!

And one more thing: I seriously had to frankenpattern this one.

Frankenpattern: (verb) to cobble together a pattern with another pattern or
the errata found online for it, using notes, tape, scissors, staples, paper clips, copiers and all manner of office supplies; may also be used as a noun with my compliments