Today's Word: Frankenpattern

Here's the current picture of Isabella. Notice anything? Probably not. The reason for that is that the shawl/scarf is all scrunched up. Yeah. Why, you ask? Take another look at the picture. See the purple lines? The purple lines that are barely showing. Yeah, those. That is all the cable space I have left. In other words, my cable is too darn short. So I have to wait until the new 60" cable arrives from the supplier. The shipper says it's expected on Monday. Monday! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Not that I'm impatient, or anything.

News from the Glove War front: my second target, Mother of Purl, has finally conceded her wooly death. However, she mistakenly attributed it to her previous assassin, Jojo. So I have no idea where the Weapons In Progress (aka already started gloves) may be. Our glorious leader is sorting it out. Happily, I was able to pass on all the tracking info and that should do the trick.

Also, my current assassin, Knits of Horror, is threatening to finish and mail my death. I directed her to the Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka site and insinuated that she relax and enjoy. Knitting can wait. And mailing can definitely wait. (No, I haven't tried Firefly, but don't tell her that.)

Battlestar Galactica Fleet Power Battle: My Hard Six proposal was accepted, after more grousing and reluctant compromise from the poor, put-upon Cylon, Dani. It's fun to role-play that character. The best part is coming up with the specific maintenance she has to perform for most of her life. For example:

You think Cavil’s gonna slip on an evac suit and polish those goofball jewel boxes? Whose fracked-up idea was it to put the spare bodies in transparent containers anyway? I mean, really? You think those things stay pristine? In space? Like there’s nothing out there? Really?

And after all that rant about pink, it turns out that my yarn's not so much pink as greyish pink. You can see actual pink stitch markers at the top for comparison. Guess I really am a Cylon. (Team colors are red, grey, and black--hey, maybe I'll get bonus points for color!)

And another thing: I started the project and had to stop and knit for guage. For the non-knitters, knitting for guage is something knitters do to torture themselves and waste time. They say it makes sweaters fit better, but that remains to be seen. To knit a guage swatch, a proper knitter will use the yarn for the project and at least three needle sizes. They will then knit a 6" square with each set of needles. After they bind this useless thing off, they will wash and block it. (I know, right.) Then and only then, they will get out a ruler and count how many stitches per inch they have knitted, both horizontally and vertically. If this is the same as the guage in the pattern they are said to "get guage." (as if)

Notwithswatching, I started the Silk Berry Jewelry Bag with size 4 needles and even I had to admit the guage was way off. So I made a small swatch with size 3--still too big--size 2--still too big--size 0--you gotta be kiddin' me, still too big? Well, those little zeros seemed like they were gonna break with such a heavy yarn, so I said forget it and compromised with the twos. But
herein lies another problem.

I have three sets of twos: an old unwieldy metal and plastic circular (ack!), a nice modern circular (but the cable kept flipping around), and 6" double-pointed needles (dpns). You know what double-pointed means? No knots. Pointy, and therefore slippery on both sides. Guess what tends to happen when you're knitting something about 6" wide on 6" dpns? Yeah, it falls off. So here's my goofball solution.Pretty, huh? It's gum eraser. No, not chewing gum. I made a couple little balls of this stuff and stuck one end of each needle in. Improvisation!

And one more thing: I seriously had to frankenpattern this one.

Frankenpattern: (verb) to cobble together a pattern with another pattern or
the errata found online for it, using notes, tape, scissors, staples, paper clips, copiers and all manner of office supplies; may also be used as a noun with my compliments

If You Know Battlestar Galactica...

I've joined a new online knitting game: Battlestar Galactica Fleet Power Battle. There are 6 different "missions" we can go on and score points for our side. Here is my understanding of the missions:

1. Baltar's girls: make something girly or soft but masculine


2. Head count: baby things & kid stuff
   
3. Ellen & Saul Tigh: selfish or based on Saul--quickies okay


4. 33 Minutes: Has to use at least 238 yards and a lifeline


5. Scar: Finish a project that's already started


6. Roll the Hard Six: Do something that's hard for you and fits the theme. Be creative, projects must be approved.

What happens to these projects? Anything I want. I don't have to mail anything!

I am planning to make a baby sweater so #2 is all set. And I finished my Cherrytini Jubilee socks just today for #5. Honestly, I think I may have just set it aside without that encouragement.

And what side am I on? Turns out I'm a Cylon. Go figure. Here's my project proposal for "Roll the Hard Six." Below is a picture of the project I want to make and my yarn.

Give, give, give. That’s all I ever do. People seem to think that new models
just appear in the tub by some kind of Cylon magic. I wish. And who has to clean
out the goo baths when a new Six finally gets out of the darn thing? Me, that’s
who. And do those red lights fall so beautifully without any effort? No way!
That’s my job too. It’s not like the hybrid is going to pop out with a squirt
bottle of vinegar and a squeegee. And who do think keeps the models looking like
models? White dresses don’t just stay white, my dear.
But someday, somewhere I’m going to get a break. I’ve been promised a new world: a world where I get to be in charge of my own life.
I am so looking forward to this new Earth and giving it my personal signature. There will be trees and strange new plants and people, people that I can enslave and use to my own ends: making me pretty things, like jewelry, pampering me, and telling me how perfect I am. And men, men that I will happily torture with the color pink. Not that I’m evil. I just want to be spoiled in the manner to which I’d like to become accustomed.
To keep me sane while I wait for this idyllic existence to start, I want to take
off the rubber gloves and knit. I will create a pink tree to enclose the pretties I expect to receive. Now, I’m not lazy. I want my skills to grow and improve. To challenge myself, I will try something I’ve never done: being nice. Just kidding. I wouldn’t bother with that. I’ll try making bobbles, raised texture.
And someday, that pink tree won’t be made of yarn. It’ll be real.
And produce pink fruit. From which we will make pink yarn. And I will knit
another pink tree.
But only if there’s consensus. Please agree. You really don’t want a crazy cylon managing the goo supply. Really.

Dani, the Cylon nobody talks about

The Hat They Called Jayne

Tiny got so excited when she saw this hat all finished. It's a replica of the one worn in Firefly by Adam Baldwin. Wearing it ups my geek cred.I know it's not pretty, but his is just as bad. See?I started working on Firehorse. It's another prayer quilt. I don't know who it's for, but I hope it will cheer someone up! I'll add a wide border of the horse print. I think I have just enough. All of the fabric for this was scraps: yay!

Missions Accomplished

The Kimono Death Gloves have been completed and mailed. Bwa-haha. I am so enjoying Glove Wars, although going to the mailbox is a new experience in fear. These gloves have to get to Pennsylvania. I'd love it if they got there today, but I only mailed 'em yesterday. While I appreciate and respect the USPS (really!) I try not to over-estimate their abilities.
And I completed that special needs quilt I laid out for you--I've named it "Little Bit." Here's a close-up. I even had enough time (barely) to sew a back. Stashbuster Alert! I used up even more scraps--yay!

The Carnage Continues!

See what arrived from Jojo today! Not my doom, but the fate destined for Mother of Purl. Bwa-haha. Sorry the pic's a little out of focus. I can't spare the time to fix it. I must knit. Knit like the wind!

Silver Linings

This is the perfect metaphor for today: I had all the wrong letters on my Scrabble rack, but I wasn't going to give up. Now it turns out we're actually playing Monopoly.

1. Went geocaching. Somehow I screwed up the instructions and wound up in the middle of the street looking for a cache. Oh, well. I got some sun and some exercise. (And some dirt and some sweat.) Good thing: saw a pretty view.
2. Went to quilting. Good thing: added the final two seams on this top. Bad thing: completely forgot about a quilt I'd agreed to make. Even Applecheeks agrees: it's impossible. We don't know who it's going to--man, woman, or child. We just know he/she will have "special needs." Pretty broad strokes, huh?So this is what I came up with. Here's a sample of what I pulled out of the scrap bins today. I laid it out for you to give an idea of what it'll look like.
3. Went to pick up Tiny on the other side of town. Realized I had left her medicine at quilting. Gah! You have no idea the permutations I had to go through to commit that blunder. Good thing: she doesn't need it right away.
4. Came home and had to fly right back out to get Tiny to her rehearsal. Good thing: got to watch a movie with the Man of the Place.
5. Fussed at the Man of the Place for having the nerve to be present when I couldn't get a pan out of the drawer. (sigh) Good thing: he loves me.
6. Realized that the sock I had already completed is just too tight and will have to be reknit. Good thing: ... I got nothin'. Maybe you can suggest the good thing.
7. But here's the good news: Glove Wars, day 8. Still alive.

Perspective

Glove War, Day 7. Status: still alive. Jojo has received her gloves and must mail her project to Twitch who, thanks to the postal system, remains kicking.

And in other news...
Jayne's Cunning Hat makes some progress. Working with these large needles and yarns should go fast, but the whole thing feels weird to me. It's like using cannoli instead of chopsticks. And the Cherrytini Jubilee socks are moving along. I'm almost to the gusset. I have to say I'm really impressed by how pretty the Lorna's Laces yarn knits up. It's just a joy to look at.But you have to have perspective...
Still a long row to hoe yet.

(Glove) War is Hell

Okay. Here's what's going on. I finished these Weapons of Lass Seduction on Saturday and mailed 'em out from the main post office. Oh, my hands were tired. And still are recovering, but I'm raring to go for round two.
Tuesday found me watching the usps.com site obsessively, seeing that my package had gone through the sorting facility in Massachusetts and were on their way to their new owner. Finally, Dragonlady (my target) announced she had received her gloves and was happy to die because I had included a Starbucks card. (some people are so easy) This was her cue to send me her unfinished gloves so that I could finish them and send them to her target, Twitch.
However (and here's where it starts to get complicated), Dragonlady had just that day sent her death gloves to Twitch.
Twitch hasn't received them yet, so is still alive. She has killed TGirl in the meantime, who already mailed off her gloves to Jojo.
So Jojo's unfinished gloves will go to Twitch, unless she receives her death gloves from (remember?) Dragonlady. Should this occur in time, Jojo will mail (finally!) the unfinished gloves to me.
My job will be to madly knit these gloves and ship them to Jojo's target (now my target), Mother of Purl. (phew!)

Unless I'm dead.

Confused? Yeah, me too. Happily, I'm not in charge. There's 31 in the game and we play until there is only one knitter left. With cold hands. Poor thing. Nobody finished her gloves.

Casualties of War

Hands... tired. Must... rest. Go on... without me.

Knit or Be Killed: Glove Wars is Coming

I got a squishy! I've been waiting since June for this baby. It's my Jayne hat. (some assembly required) The woman who makes these kits has a kid with special needs and sells the kits and the premade hats to help keep above water. Love it! Bigger yarn than I'm used to. It should knit up in a flash!

But I have a delay: gloves of doom!
No! Not these! Not my beautiful Hartfield Gloves!
Gloves that kill! I am a part of... Glove Wars! I have received the dossier on my target and will knit her a pair of beautiful blue gloves. Barring my death, she will receive them from me and die. Okay, yes, it's a game. A silly game. A knitting and mailing stuff game. For further details on this madness, go to the Glove Wars Home Page.
But it doesn't start until Thursday night. So, let's see, this is Tuesday, I have about, oh, 53 hours to knit what I want until I must kill or be killed. Probably both.
If I am killed, here are the notes on my most recent Mile-a-Minute quilt blocks so you can finish the quilt for me. (sad yet noble music to be played here) Above you can see the inspiration fabric. I found a number (33) of small scraps of this and decided to make each block with a little of it.This is the pile of fabric scraps I thought would coordinate well (enough).It has been here incorporated into a crazy block before trimming. What? I said it was crazy.And here trimmed to 8.5". Scraps on the right will be discarded, scraps on the left back into the pile. Stashbuster Alert! It's a great use for those itty bitties that you just can't bear to toss. Speaking of which, I hear that the completely useless bits are (if clean) prized by pet rats for nesting in. Keep it out of the landfill for just a little longer!